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Saturday 11 July 2020
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NOT LIKING BILL MURRAY TO BE MADE ILLEGAL

NOT LIKING BILL MURRAY TO BE MADE ILLEGAL

HOLLYWOOD – Anyone who doesn’t like Bill Murray could face a maximum fine of $15,000 and up to six months in prison, according to a new law currently being considered in Congress.

The legislation would criminalize ‘indifference, criticism of and/or contempt of Mr. Bill Murray, including comments that he has “lost it” or “gone off the boil”‘. Congressman Eddie Vargas (D) says that the legislation has been made necessary by a number of lackluster Bill Murray movies which have tested the love for the cult film actor:

Bill Murray is like a protected species. He has an ineffable charm, a weary hangdog expression and he can be both dryly witty and deeply tragic in the same shot, so it is important that we remind the nation of Ghostbusters, Groundhog Day and Lost in Translation and try to encourage them to forget about Saint Vincent.

Opponents of the bill say that coercing people to like Bill Murray will be counterproductive. Jean Backalore spokes EXCLUSIVELY to the Studio Exec:

I like Murray. He’s a fine comic actor and a charismatic presence. But the internet worship of the actor as an icon has gone too far and does him a disservice, leading to Comic-Con appearances among other things. We have to be honest. Ghostbusters great, Ghostbusters 2 not so much. Groundhog Day great, Meatballs not so much. Rushmore, great. The Life Aquatic of Steve Zissou not so much. But that sentence that I have just said would be considered illegal and I might find myself deprived of my liberty. This goes beyond George Orwell’s 1984.

Do you support the No Bill Murray Left Behind Bill? Speak your Brains!

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