Nicolas Cage

HOLLYWOOD – Nicolas Cage revealed today that he is also Tom Hanks.

The news rocked the world of show business today that Tom Hanks and Nicolas Cage are in fact one and the same person. The star of Con Air and Philadelphia announced the news via Tumblr.

For many years I have lived a lie. A part of my life I dedicated to making top class entertainment, and with the rest of it I was Tom Hanks. Initially I intended Hanks to be a short term project, but as I found to my astonishment success in films like Big and Forest Gump, I decided to continue. At times the workload reached unbelievable and almost unbearable proportions. I appeared in over twenty films in one year and then I had to do the Tom Hanks ones as well. Add to this TV appearances and having to be a father and husband and you can imagine the strain.

I shall continue to be Tom Hanks in the future, but I have decided that I can no longer keep up the pretense that I am actually two people when I am one. Cage. I’d also point out that I used no make up or wigs, or any other subterfuge beyond answering to a different name. It frankly baffled me that no one noticed.

Nicolas Cage
Tom Hanks

Seasoned Cage watcher Valeria Ahem told the Studio Exec:

This was coming for years. Anyone who’s watched Cage knew there were gaps of several hours when a new film wasn’t coming out. What was he doing in those missing minutes? Theories abounded and now we know.

Nicolas Cage is appearing in Toy Story 4.

(Visited 1,161 times, 1 visits today)

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.