NFL DUE TO CANCEL SUPERBOWL DUE TO SNARKY COMMENTS
NEW JERSEY – Tomorrow’s Superbowl XLIX between the Seattle Seahawks and the New England Patriots is at risk of cancellation due to what the NFL have described as an unprecedented amount of sarcastic comments from young hipsters who claim either indifference or complete ignorance of the existence of this most important sporting event.
NFL spokesperson Chip Hording commented EXCLUSIVELY to the Studio Exec:
Every year there’s always these bozos with their goattee beards and their frappuccinos and their Goddam iPads and they always say things like ‘Apparently there’s a football game on tomorrow’ or ‘What’s happening tomorrow? Superbowl what’s that? A Marvel Tupperware fusion?’ Well, it hurts our feelings. We work damn hard all year and so do the fellas who actually do the throwing the ball and catching the ball and the getting the brain damage thing. And to just have people feign ignorance or ridicule our enthusiasm … well it takes the biscuits and I don’t mean to use foul language, but it does.
According to Chip, the higher ups in the NFL are even now seriously considering a plan to cancel the Superbowl Football game tomorrow and play it later in the week in a secret location. ‘All everyone ever talks about are the promos and new commercials,’ Chip complained. ‘What about the athletic beauty of the game? What about that? Huh?’
However, many believe this is just a bluff and if everyone promises to take it seriously the NFL will bring the ball back and go ahead with the game as planned.
If we behave, the Superbowl will be played at 6.30 EST Sunday.