west side story

HOLLYWOOD – Steven Spielberg’s remake of West Side Story looks shit.

The first musical from legendary film maker Steven Spielberg will be a remake of West Side Story.

The first image came out on the internet today and it looks shit. Spielberg watcher Clement Adjutant told the Studio Exec EXCLUSIVELY:

I don’t know. I mean I don’t want to jump to conclusions, but it looks crap. Why even publish an image like this? It’s so bland and uninteresting. How is anyone supposed to be interested in this or excited by it? Of course I could be wrong. After all, The Post looked shit and in the end it was… actually it was shit.

The image shows Ansel Elgort as Tony and Rachel Zegler as Maria, the star-crossed lovers of a 1950s New York. It looks like High School Musical fucked white bread and then someone sprayed tea over everything. One of the gangs obviously buy their clothes at Gap and the others buy their clothes at… another Gap but maybe in a different part of the city. It’s too early to tell. No doubt what with the songs and the music and scenes and things, this will get much better, but then again, maybe not.

West Side Story will come out.

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