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Monday 24 February 2020
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NEW MARVEL POLICY: ‘WE WILL ONLY PRODUCE FILMS WITH A NUMBER IN TITLE’

NEW MARVEL POLICY: ‘WE WILL ONLY PRODUCE FILMS WITH A NUMBER IN TITLE’

NEW YORK – Marvel has announced that from now on they will only produce films which have a number in the title (or a colon), because they have ‘got tired of the demands of originality’ and it makes their collective ‘heads thobbing! Can’t THHINKKKK!’

Their current platform will not be affected at all. Iron Man 3 is due out next year, which will see Robert Downey Jr continuing his protracted break from acting. Everyone is eagerly anticipating Thor 2 or something. Captain America 2 is also planned along with The Avengers 2, or as it will be called in the UK The Avengers Reassemble.

Studio Exec asked Joey Sclerosis – head of innovation at Marvel – What happens if you come up with a new idea?


‘What? Like Hulk? or Black Widow? or Something like that? Sheesh, easy peasy. We just call it Hulk 3 or Black Widow 2 and then we do a prequel later called Black Widow 1.’


And Pepper Potts, the stand alone Gwyneth Paltrow film?


‘Are you high? That’s never going to happen. We just did that as part of her contract negotiation. That ain’t gonna happen.’


No?


‘BAM, no, THWOCK, you hear me? WALLOP!’


Erm…okay.


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