NAKED OSCARS WILL BE HOSTED BY LOUIS CK
HOLLYWOOD – In a drastic change this year, the Academy announced the naked Oscars will be hosted by Louis CK.
The glamorous awards ceremony will be known as the Naked Oscars and will be hosted by Louis CK in an effort to boost ratings.
Look At The Globes On That
In light of the calamitous viewing figures for this year’s Golden Globes which took place online, changes have been made to this year’s Oscars. The Academy has announced this year’s Oscars ceremony will be entirely nude and Louis CK will host the event, bollock naked. The Exec spoke to Academy PR Spokesperson, Dee Versity to clarify the announcement:
Dee, talk us through this dramatic decision please.
We all saw the ratings for the Globes and we thought, shit a brick, no-one cares about awarding multi-millionaire actors and actresses anymore. We knew we had to come up with a concept that people would want to watch. Our research suggested that people like to see their Hollywood heroes naked. So, we thought, fuck it, let’s get their kit off.
How did you get everyone to agree to be naked?
They won’t actually be naked. We have Andy Serkis in a mo-cap suit backstage and Peter Jackson directing the proceedings from a truck out back. We can super impose the winner’s face and a smoking hot naked bod on Andy who will mimic their walk and collect the award. The winners don’t have to get up from their chairs, which helps with social distancing. Plus it keeps the female recipients away from Louis because, well… y’know.
Why did you choose Louis CK?
He approached us as soon as heard about the full frontal nudity. He asked us if he could host it, and he said he’d do it for free. I have no idea why, but who cares? We also think his little ginger pubes and white peanut will be kinda cute next to all those swinging schlongs and bouncing bazongas.
Will the CGI nudity be anatomically accurate?
Fuck no! All these actors and actresses usually have ass doubles in their movies. This is no different. All the men will have great big swinging sausages and the ladies will all be very well endowed. Hubba hubba!
Will the CGI software be respectful of POC?
Um, well, how do I say this? It’s The Academy Awards, The Oscars. Let’s be honest. I can’t see them including many people of color in the winner’s column, can you? We didn’t bother buying that upgrade for the software.