MY FAVORITE FILM: SEAN PENN
HOLLYWOOD – Favorite films gives film makers, actors and famous people the chance to talk about the films that have inspired them to be who they are, do what they do, or simply enjoy an evening out when they’re trying not to go out. This week: Sean Penn.
What’s my favorite film? What a stupid f*cking question. That’s like asking me if I prefer scrambled eggs or poached eggs. I don’t even f*cking like eggs. Wait a minute. I do, I like fried eggs but not on toast they have to be on their own. No salt.
Tim Robbins, the prick, he likes boiled eggs which just goes to show what kind of man he is. I could have had his role in The Shawshank Redemption. They asked me first but I told them to go f*ck themselves. I wanted him to get struck by lightning as soon as he escaped. That would have been more realistic. He spends twenty years trying to get out and as soon as he does, boom, he gets zapped and the message would have been hope is futile because sh*t happens. I like that. It’s gritty.
I’d have gone that way with Batman too. His parents get whacked, all very f*cking tragic and he spends all this time learning to fight crime and making his suit and whatever and the first day he goes out on the job he gets shot in the head. Bang! He’s a vegetable. Spends the rest of his days drooling in his wheelchair and eating baby food through a straw. Alfred puts his head in the oven because the stress of being a full time carer gets too much for him to cope with. That’s art, baby. That’s social f*cking commentary.
I used to love De Niro. Taxi Driver, Deer Hunter. Films about men doing manly things. You can smell the f*cking testosterone, but he’s a joke now. A joke without a f*cking punchline. I was on a plane and I caught the Big Wedding. It made me want to vomit so I got the pilot to divert the plane to New York, got off, took a taxi to De Niro’s, knocked on his door and when he answered it, I punched him in the head. I left but then I remembered Righteous Kill so I went back and punched him in the head again. Now I can’t go within 500 yards of the prick. F*ck him. Anyway what was the question, what is my favorite egg?.What a stupid f*cking question. Go f*ck yourself.
Sean Penn will star in The Secret Life Of Walter Mitty due for release on Dec 26 2013.
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