MPAA ADMITS ‘MURDER BETTER THAN FEMALE NIBBLEY-BITS’

mpaa

HOLLYWOOD – Following Rachel Evan Wood‘s candid criticism of the cuts imposed by the MPAA rating system on The Necessary Death of Charlie Countryman, the Motion Picture Association of America has finally ‘come clean’ about its preferences for people being violently murdered to women being pleasured via their nibbley bits.

Ms. Wood had tweeted her response to the MPAA’s rating earlier this week:

The scene where the two main characters make ‘love’ was altered because someone felt that seeing a man give a woman oral sex made people ‘uncomfortable’ but the scenes in which people are murdered by having their heads blown off remained intact and unaltered.

The MPAA today responded:

Look, murder is like an American tradition, right? Whereas cunnilingus was invented in France by Jean Paul Sartre, a well known communist, and so is only suitable for people who don’t shop at Walmart, or eat McDonalds, or live in America. Ms. Wood would perhaps spend her time more profitably killing people with guns rather than fixing her mind on the valley of dirty LICKAGE!!!

The Necessary Death of Charlie Countryman will be released tomorrow-ish.  

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