HOLLYWOOD – Michael Fassbender’s member will get its own stand alone movie, according to an insider at Warner Bros.

The Irish/German star is currently in talks with director Werner Herzog for what he calls a male reworking of the Vagina Monologues:

It will be fantastic. For many years I have been talking with Michael about doing a movie with him, but I was really only concerned with finding a large enough part for his large part. Then the idea of rewriting Eve Ensler’s iconic play came up and I thought he would be perfect in the piece, or at least some of him would be.

But aren’t The Vagina Monologues a feminist classic?

I believe so, and our film, I’m afraid, will not pass the Bechdel test. No, not by a long stretch. However, it is just this kind of radical reversal which will make for fascinating viewing. And Michael is such a versatile actor I’m sure that if I asked him to do a vagina as well, he would be more than capable.

And how does Michael feel about the project?

At first he was intimidated by the idea. He felt that his willy would not be enough to hold the audience’s attention for the full two hours of the feature film, even though it could be argued he’d managed already with Shame. But what really decided him was he caught The Counselor on television the other day and said he’d made a film that was complete cock by accident, he might as well make one on purpose.

The Penis Monologues will be released in 2016.

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