MICHAEL FASSBENDER TO PLAY TED HEATH
LONDON – Danny Boyle has confirmed that he will reunite with Michael Fassbender for an upcoming biopic of former British Prime Minister, Ted Heath.
“It’s a really old script,” said Boyle.
It’s been on the internet for decades but a lot of people just haven’t bothered to look for it. I was first told about it by a taxi driver back in 1999 and I found it with relative ease. I was going to make the film back then with Richard Harris in the lead role but I took the script to these major studios and they kept accidentally losing it. Then one night I was visited by a guy who said that if I didn’t destroy all my files they would make me ‘disappear’. It was all very weird. He didn’t look like a magician.
The exact contents of the script and what other characters will appear remain a mystery and Boyle himself was reluctant to divulge any details:
I can’t reveal much at this point in time, but what I can tell you is that several judges, high-ranking members of the police and MI5, lords, politicians, prominent businessmen, celebrities and members of the royal family will all be making a cameo appearance.
Somewhat usually, the movie isn’t listed on IMDB and none of the major media outlets have reported that the film is in production.
“Oh we know about it,” said a spokesman for The Times newspaper:
We’ve known about it for years but we just haven’t reported it. I know that sounds strange because it’s potentially the most explosive script in the history of British cinema but we just decided not to write about it because, er, every time we tried our keyboards mysteriously stopped working.
With a release date of 2020, the Ted Heath story has all the ingredients of a ground-breaking film that will shake the industry to it’s very foundations but The Studio Exec predicts it will be pipped to the number one spot by Katheryn Bigelow’s eagerly awaited, ‘Go back to sleep, England. Everything is fine.’