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Thursday 1 October 2020
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MICHAEL BAY TO RETIRE

MICHAEL BAY TO RETIRE

HOLLYWOOD – The world of film was rocked today as the genius behind such films as Pearl Harbor and Pain and Gain – Michael Bay – announced that Transformers 4: Age of Extinction will be his last film as a director.

He explained his motives for taking early retirement EXCLUSIVELY to the Studio Exec:

It’s partly the pressure and the relentless criticism. People see me as this arrogant blow hard who just doesn’t care, but I do care. I read all my reviews and I have to say it hurts. I care about making quality films and it has finally dawned on me that – although it’s been very difficult to admit – I’m just not as good at it as I want to be. I’m never going to make a Tokyo Story or a Last Year at Marienbad for instance. Understanding this and being in the financial position that I’m fortunately in, I’ve decided to quit while I still have time to pursue other interests.

Such as?

I really want to write a novel. I’ve been toying with loads of ideas and I think I’m ready to put pen to paper. I’d also be interested in painting.

Painting?

I know. It’s wild, isn’t it? At first I thought, I’ll never be able to paint but then I came across these kits you can buy. The canvas is already drawn for you and there are numbers in each part which correspond to the correct color. It’s all about the application.

Michael Bay will still continue to work as a producer but he says he will increasingly hands off.

I really don’t want to be around film people any more. I have my novel to write.

Can you tell us more about the novel?

I don’t want to talk it out but it’s basically autobiographical. About a misunderstood genius who has a fear of public speaking and who withdraws from the public spotlight. I can give you the title.

Go on.

It’s called Armageddon Out of Here.

Transformers Age of Extinction will still be released.  

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