HOLLYWOOD – Michael Bay parachuted into Guam late last night.
The Transformers and The Rock director Michael Bay has been dropped over Guam, sources say. The freshly appointed Special Envoy to South East Asia, President Trump said that he appointed Mr. Bay because of his experience with explosive action sequences. An insider praised the move:
Michael is the perfect choice for this role. The situation is amazingly confusing. No one knows what is going on. There’s a very good chance it won’t end well. In other words, this looks exactly like a Michael Bay movie.
What will Bay do in Guam?
Hopefully act as a deterrent. We know that Kim Jong Il is a huge fan of Bad Boys 2. If they nuke Guam, we’re saying they’ll never see a Bad Boys 3.
But Kim Yong Il was the father. The leader is Kim Jong Un now.
Then we’re fucked.
I suppose if I want look on the bright side, it means we’re probably not going to see another Transformers movie ever again.
Michael Bay will be directing Apocalypse ASAP.