HOLLYWOOD  – The wait is over; the fervid rumors can cease: finally, the film makers turning E.L. James’ erotic literary masterpiece Fifty Shades of Grey have found their Charlie Hunnam replacement and lead: Max Von Sydow.

‘We thought Shia LaBeouf and Ryan Gosling at first and then we thought, maybe Robert Pattinson, but in the end we decided to go with an actor,’ says producer, Hamish McRse. ‘And name me a better actor than famed Swedish thespian Max Von Sydow.’

Von Sydow – or Jesus the Merciless as he prefers to be known – said that he was delighted to have landed the role:

I’ve read the book a number of times and it is very racy, but I’ve talked to my doctors and they say that as long as I get plenty of rest the night before I should be up for it. I will of course follow the example of the great Shia LaBeouf and insist on doing it for real.

 As yet no name has been announced for Anastasia Steele, the young student who is swept up in Christian (Sydow) sadomasochistic sex dominance games sex, although Emma Watson and Jennifer Lawrence have both been rumoured. More on this story as it breaks.

CORRECTION: in an earlier post it was mentioned that Rutger Hauer would be playing the role but that was an error and – as many of you pointed out – plainly ridiculous, he’s much too young.

50 Shades of Grey is due in cinemas sometime in 2014.

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