HOLLYWOOD – Matt Damon, actor and activist, has come out yesterday in a stunning u-turn to support the gas acquisition process known as ‘fracking’, despite having written and starred in a film The Promised Land, ostensibly opposed to the practice.
Mr. Damon spoke EXCLUSIVELY to the Studio Exec:
Yeah I was opposed to fracking at first because I didn’t really understand it. There are all these hippy types in Hollywood like Tim Robbins and they convinced me of a lot of stuff then I sat down and did some research via Business Insider and they really changed my mind. You could say that there’s one Bourne every minute, right? Am I right?
So now you’re not opposed to the hydraulic extraction of shale gas, which some say pollutes the water table, adds to carbon emissions as well as ruining the site of extraction?
What happens between two consenting adults in the privacy of their own home is their business and nobody else’s.
But that isn’t fracking as such.
Of course there are sometimes more than two and that’s okay as well.
We’re talking about the most environmentally damaging things you can do to the environment. James Hanson argues that…
Hey, I wasn’t Bourne yesterday you know. I see what you’re trying to do.
Are you just going to keep making Bourne puns?
No. Maybe. As the Boss says, [Singing] I was … BOURNE in the USA! I was… BOURNE in the USA.
Okay. No. Sorry this is a serious issue and I’m going to take it seriously. After all, I damaged the cause of Fracking in America and now I want to put things right. Not just for me and my children, but for the generations yet to be Bourne.
Ben Affleck was unavailable for comment.
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