MARVEL FILMS ‘BASICALLY LIKE THE WEATHER’

Chad Sternberger Aug 24, 2015

HOLLYWOOD – Marvel films have now become basically like the weather, a new study by scientists from the internet has reported.

With an ever increasing crop of Marvel films every year – Ant-Man and The Avengers: Age of Ultron have already hit the screens – the prevalence of superhero films from the Marvel stable has rendered them basically the same as the weather.

Dr. Rupert Magget of the Weather Channel told the Studio Exec:

There are tribes in the Amazon rain forest that have never spoken on a telephone, never seen a television and don’t have a word in their language for Frappucino. And these tribes are looking forward to the Guardians of the Galaxy sequel and talk about nothing but when the Black Widow is going to get a stand alone movie.

How do you explain this dominance?

Some would say that the ruling ideas of any epoch are the ideas of the ruling class. Actually Karl Marx would say that. So if we look at what Marvel produces, stories about small elite teams of individuals being given carte blanche to do anything and justified by a constant state of terror which is always threatening to destroy the world but actually doesn’t then … well, I don’t know. Tony Stark is a one percenter, Captain America is someone for whom the Second World War never actually finished and the Hulk is someone who destroys cities with apparent impunity. All of these are supported by a mysterious NSA style organisation with a huge budget.

But some would say that the Marvel films are critical of themselves and investigate these very points.

Perhaps. But what is interesting is that when we talk about the Marvel Universe, we’re not just talking about a fictive space in which many different stories exist in the same geographical and historical space, we’re also talking about an ideological uniformity that is actually quite fascistic. Look at Iron Man, we’re concerned about his state of mind, his state of being and ultimately everything is resolved because of his ability to apply force, rendering all other questions null and void.

Jesus. This got really serious.

I’m just a weatherman.

Okay. So what has this got to do with the weather?

Well, that’s just about how many Marvel films we’re getting. And not just how many but with each film we get a round of trailers, first glimpses, photos, rumors, interviews, it’s just endless. Now, like weather, it just kind of blends into one thing.

What about the DC Comics Universe?

I don’t know what that is.

Captain America: Civil War, Doctor Strange and Guardians of the Galaxy 2 are all due out in 2016.