magic mike xll

HOLLYWOOD – In three separate incidents screenings of Magic Mike XXL IMAX 3D have had to be stopped because of injuries ranging from heart palpitations to dislocated wrists.

Magic Mike XXL released on Tuesday has been doing good business ahead of the July 4 weekend, but in several 3D IMAX showings cinema managers have had to call paramedics to treat injured audience members. Cinema manager Carlton Cassonile spoke EXCLUSIVELY to the Studio Exec via Skype:

It’s the darnedest thing. We get a lot of girls coming to the theater in groups, bacholerette parties and what have you. And quite a few gay men too. The experience of Magic Mike XXL is already pretty raucous and we do have to steam clean the upholstery after every screening, but some of these shows have descended into a lurid no-holds barred bacchanalia not seen since the latter half of the Roman Emperor. I swear to God that one of the ladies was so contorted we need fire officers with cutting gear to get her out.

Asked to comment about the incidents, star Channing Tatum simply said:

Huh, huh, yeah. Right. Cutting gear!

Sociologist Xavier Poulis commented:

Films appealing to female sexuality are now becoming huge business. We have Magic Mike XXL, 50 Shades of Grey and – of course – The Second Best Marigold Hotel. All of these films have earned millions of dollars but have also broken the traditional family unit and spilled out what can only be described as a soppingly moist female fervor of sexual ecstasy, the vibrations of which can destroy buildings. Men should be warned of what is taking place, for when their wives and girlfriends come home, they are going to be in a great deal of trouble. If they come home…

Magic Mike XXL is on current release.


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