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Sunday 26 January 2020
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LOST RIVER FREE WITH A HAPPY MEAL

LOST RIVER FREE WITH A HAPPY MEAL

HOLLYWOOD – Ryan Gosling’s Lost River is to be distributed via the McDonald’s fast food chain with the purchase of a Happy Meal.

The movie, which stars Christina Hendricks, Iain De Caestecker and Eva Mendes, debuted at Cannes to widespread critical disdain. The Studio Exec saw it there and has to say it wasn’t that bad. Just David Lynch for people who haven’t seen David Lynch and like music videos.

However, the studio Warner Bros have decided not to risk a critical and commercial shellacking and instead have collaborated with McDonald’s to create an alternative method of distribution. Anyone buying a Happy Meal will receive a DVD and free digital download of the film. A spokesperson for the company said:

We are delighted to offer Ryan Gosling a platform to realize his vision and bring it to a broader public. Everyone loves Ryan Gosling. He’s so adorable. I could just watch him all day. I don’t even care if the film is crap, like Gangster Squad.

But he isn’t in the film?

Isn’t he?

No, he’s the director. And to be honest it isn’t exactly suitable for kids.

It’s not? Are you sure?

No, it’s quite gruesome.

Oh. But then again so are our Happy Meals! Ha ha ha! No actually don’t print that. I’ll do it again. Perhaps we should have watched it. Jeez Louise, what have I gone and done now? Well, hey ho, as we say at McDonald’s.

Lost River is freely available from all participating outlets.

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