2013 London Film Festival
So that was the London Film Festival. We drank, we sang, we swapped germs, fluid and business cards. Apparently there were some films on too but when you’ve spent two weeks at the bottom of a Martini glass they all blur into one. Still, being a professional it’s only right that I rack my brains and try and remember some highlights and thanks to the miracle of Ritalin, the memories are slowly creeping back.

The Parties

I did the fox trot with Emma Thompson and danced the Tango with Sophia Coppola. I jumped around with Billy Zane and did the Hustle with Steve McQueen. I moonwalked with Bullock and Mamboed with Dench. Basically, I did a lot of dancing but when Tom Hanks got his floor keyboard out, I had to draw the line. The man carries that damn thing everywhere and it’s high time he got another gimmick.
The Films

12 years without Gravity was exceptional, especially Steve Coogan’s performance as Walt Disney. Saving Captain Phillips is a new classic of the martial arts genre and leading man Jesse Eisenberg is a shoe-in for the Oscar. As for the rest. The Selfish Lunchbox, Under the Parkland andThe Armstrong Lie: The Story of Antarctic Cowboys all had their moments but for me, the stand out picture was Don John. I’ve been waiting for a Don Johnson biopic for years and Joe Gordon-Levitt was bang on the money. Scarlett Johansson was also great as Melanie Griffith.

The Aftermath

I’m booking myself in for 7 days of colonic irrigations and blood transfusions. If anyone mentions the word festival until 2014 they’re going in a hole in the desert. 

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