lindsay lohan

CHICAGO – Lindsay Lohan is to be Slavoj Zizek in the new film Yes We Lacan to be directed by Ron Howard.

She joins Charlie Sheen who has been preparing for his role as Jacques Lacan by studying psychoanalysis in French. Howard was incredibly impressed by Sheen’s work rate and his dedication to the role.

‘I’d heard he was a complete dufus,’ said the one from Happy Days who isn’t the Fonz. ‘But there he was at the Sorbonne seven o’ clock every morning, and he was just talking in perfect French about the relationship between the real, the symbolic and the imaginary. And how these three orders effect our psychic … Hell, I’m giving away the plot.’

Lindsay Lohan has slipped into the role much easier, having been a good friend of Zizek for some years.

‘We’ve been friends for years and we talk a lot,’ said Lohan. ‘Sometimes when he has a big book due out he’ll send me over the gallies and I’ll read them and they will just thrash out the ideas and there he is writing it all down. In Defence of Lost Causes that was mostly me.’

You helped him write the book? 

‘Well, yeah,’ Lohan shakes her head laughing. ‘But it’s not all one way, he came to watch the dailies of Herbie Fully Loaded. In fact it was Slavoj who suggested the full title. Then he laughed that funny laugh of his.’

Yes We Lacan is due out on Christmas Day, 2013.

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