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Thursday 1 October 2020
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LINDSAY LOHAN NOT ARRESTED

LINDSAY LOHAN NOT ARRESTED

HOLLYWOOD – Hollywood today was in a state of shock as news spread that Lindsay Lohan had not been arrested today. Some stood in the street and stared at the sky; others resorted to churches or quiet places in the woods to contemplate the new order of the universe.

How could it be? was the question on everyone’s lips. Lindsay Lohan had not been arrested, nor had she appeared before a judge, nor had she been photographed leaving a courthouse. It is the 29th of March, 2013. There is no need to mark it down. History has already done so.

Jason Pearl – veteran Lohan watcher and author of the study Lohan’s Run – said that it was bound to happen one day:

Just the laws of probability said it would. This is no real mystery but still… it is one thing saying an asteroid might hit the Earth, it is something else when that happens.

Some have argued that the rehab lock-down that Lindsay is due to undergo in May might have had an impact on her behavior  Charlie Sheen – a close friend of Ms. Lohan – believes that Lohan’s recent anomalous behavior is down to her switching her reading from Nietzsche to Wittgenstein: ‘She’s abandoned the superficial railing of egocentric existentialism for something more structured and logical.’

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