liam neeson

NEW JERSEY – Liam Neeson has been dispatched by the FBI in an attempt to rescue New Jersey Governor.

Action film star and revered Irish actor Liam Neeson is to attempt to rescue New Jersey governor and former presidential candidate Chris Christie. FBI spokesperson Audrey Hamilton spoke exclusively with the Studio Exec:

Mr. Christie’s family first got in touch about a fortnight ago. He had not returned home following the suspension of his presidential campaign. At first family members believed that Mr. Christie needed some space and time to reflect. They were shocked when they saw him endorsing his arch-rival Donald Trump. Despite his words it was evident to law officers that from his body language and especially from the look in his eyes that Mr. Christie was very likely behaving under extreme duress. Further film evidence shows him being paraded around by Donald Trump who at whim uses him as the butt of his jokes, or orders him to get back in his plane, where he is believed to be chained up like the ‘gimp’ in Pulp Fiction and only fed fruit flavored pop tarts.

 Liam Neeson was called, using a special number that causes a red telephone to ring in his house. A representative for the actor says that he has been training with Gabriel Byrne for just such an eventuality.

We at the FBI have nothing but praise for the conduct of Mr. Neeson. He answered his differently colored telephone almost immediately and said he had a ‘certain set of skills’. We asked if he would use these skills to free Mr. Christie.

Would Liam Neeson be expected to ‘take out’ Donald Trump?

The FBI couldn’t possibly comment on that. That would be the CIA’s department.

Liam Neeson will be appearing in Martin Scorsese’s The Silence next month.

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