LEONARDO DICAPRIO HUNTING RESERVE OPENS
HOLLYWOOD – The Leonard DiCaprio Hunting Reserve opens in the Galapagos Islands, amid outcry from conservationists.
At a cost of $500million the Leonardo DiCaprio Hunting Reserve will be a playground for the rich and famous to come and fill their blood lust, rather than taking it out on PAs and the homeless in dark alleys. The Studio Exec caught up with the star at the Leonardo DiCaprio Hunting Reserve grand opening.
Leonardo, what gave you the idea for this venture?
I love animals and nature and all that kind of shit. So I thought it would be a good idea if I could exploit that to make a shit-ton of money before it all sinks into the ever-rising oceans.
Aren’t the islands a World Heritage site?
Those clowns are even more corrupt than I am. I got dirt on all of them. Photos that would make your shit turn white, know what I mean?
Are you afraid you’ll be shunned by the Hollywood eco-friendly community?
Pah-hahahahahahah, good one man! Let me tell you something, Brad Pitt, George Clooney, Jennifer Lawrence and Kristen Stewart love nothing more than emptying an AR-15 magazine into the brains of a few ‘endangered species’. Whatever endangered species means.
How much will it cost to visit?
A standard room for a week, bring your own guns and ammo will set you back 500 hundred large. You want cannons and ammos thrown in, no problem. I gotta guy but it’ll cost you a cool mill. Tips not included. You want a room?
You’re profiting off the deaths of innocent creatures, you sick fuck.
Thank you very much. That’s kind of you to say. Let me introduce you to my associates, Rocco and Knuckles.