LARS VON TRIER CHARLIE BROWN MOVIE GETS THE GREEN LIGHT
HOLLYWOOD – The long awaited Lars Von Trier Charlie Brown movie gets the green light.
Sony pictures have announced the Lars Von Trier Charlie Brown movie gets the green light and will finally start shooting in the spring.
Live Action, Charlie Brown!
In a press release by the studio it announced the film will be a ‘live action extravaganza’. The press release in dull reads as follows:
It’s a press release, Charlie Brown!
‘Sony Pictures are proud to announce the Danish auteur, Lars Von Trier will write and direct ‘It’s An Existential Crisis, Charlie Brown!’. The film is due to go into production in the spring.’
It’s a synopsis, Charlie Brown!
‘The film takes place some 40 years in the future, where Charlie and all the gang have grown up. Well, all except for Snoopy and Woodstock. Otherwise, they’d be long dead and buried, which would be a tough sell to the kids. Charlie (Nicholas Cage) has been made redundant from the desalination plant he has worked in for the last 20 years as an administrator in the catering department. He takes to drinking, which causes problems with his wife, Peppermint Patty (Emma Stone).
Linus sleeps around, Charlie Brown!
Things get really bad when his lifelong friend, Linus (Joaquin Phoenix) divorces Marcia (Charlotte Gainsbourg) because of his affair with Lucy (Sofie Grabol), who is pregnant with Linus’s child. Sally (Uma Thurman) invites them all to her retreat center that she runs in Colorado on behalf of her death cult, The New Era Harvest. There, the old gang relive past memories and learn to love again, right before ‘the ascension’.
It’s Dogme 95, Charlie Brown!
‘The film will be made in accordance with the Dogme 95 manifesto,’ said Von Trier. ‘That, I wrote all on my own. That Hollywood, corporate whore Vinterberg had nothing to do with it. Anyway, it will all be shot on location, hand-held cameras, natural lighting. It’ll be the full fucking Dogme shabang. Oh, apart from the mo-cap suit Andy Serkis will wear, as he’s playing Snoopy AND Woodstock. There is no point splashing out for another actor when that fucker will jump around in a spotty leotard for next to nothing. We can always fudge it all together in post. Oh, and I WILL get full credit. What am I? Some kind of fucking chump?’