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Friday 4 December 2020
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KATHRYN BIGELOW PLANS WAR ON TERROR TRILOGY

KATHRYN BIGELOW PLANS WAR ON TERROR TRILOGY

GUANTANAMO – Oscar winning director Kathryn Bigelow has stated that she plans to close her War on Terror trilogy that began with the Hurt Locker and Zero Dark Thirty with a new film called Dirty Dark Locker.

The new film will star Garry Shandling as a CIA intelligence officer who finds Saddam Hussein’s Weapons of Mass Destruction (WMD) in Iraq but who is told to bury them in the desert by Washington politicians who believe that finding the weapons is ‘not PC’ and might in fact be racist.

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Col. Bigelow – as she prefers to be called – has already come under fire for her claim that torture led to the capture and execution of Bin Laden (it did not), but is unrepentant and looks ready to stir up even more controversy with her new film.

People say that your films have an overly romantic view of the American military. Is that true?

Sir, no, sir. Hurt Locker was critical of the established military even as it praised the heroes, the men on the ground. 

But with Zero Dark Thirty you propose the idea that torture led to the finding of Osama Bin Laden when this idea is disputed from even within the intelligence and defence communities. Why?

Permission to speak candidly sir.

Granted. 

I really like 24 and that was what I was thinking. I was thinking, 24  would be a good thing if if it were to be true. And that way Jessica Chastain can make up for that Tree of Life bullshit.  

And your new film claims that the WMD were actually found and so justifies retrospectively George Bush’s war even if all the evidence is against it. 

 I watched Paul Greengrass’ Green Zone and when it ended I thought bullshit man. They didn’t find a goddam thing. I know that that is the reality but I like films which are like not the reality. And so that’s what I did. 

And why did you cast Garry Shandling?

He was cheap, sir.  

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