KANYE WEST ANNOUNCES RETIREMENT
HOLLYWOOD – Following the birth of his new son Saint West, musician, genius and rapper, Kanye West has announced his retirement from music.
Kanye West has given up his music career because he wants to devote himself to being an asshole. ‘The music, writing and recording and touring, it was all taking too much time away from all my asshole-y stuff,’ he told a close friend.
The news came as something as a shock to the general public but those close to Kanye West say that the decision has been years in the making. An insider spoke EXCLUSIVELY to the Studio Exec:
I don’t honestly think it has been a secret that Kanye has been drifting away from the music scene for some time. He has dabbled with the idea of entering politics, or perhaps funding some kind of tech start up company, or maybe even just being a full time dad, but music kept pulling him back.
In a statement released via his record label, Kanye announced:
After careful consideration and consultation with my family, my friends and my management team I have decided to retire from the music business effective immediately. I have loved music and still love it so much that it pains me but I have decided if I can’t give music the full 100% of my attention I shouldn’t really do it at all. And so I am retiring to devote myself 100% of the time to being an asshole. All my creative energy, all my time and all my energy will go into my endeavouring to be as big an asshole as it is possible to be. I’m not going to pretend it’s easy. After all we’ve got Drake, Chris Brown and now Donald Trump to compete with, but I’m sure with my experience and track record and with the laser precision focus I bring, I can become the number one asshole of the USA, if not the world.