MONTREAL – Last night Justin Bieber was arrested and deported. Like most Canadians he had come to the United States, possibly by crawling under a chicken wire fence, primarily to steal money and take advantage of our beautiful but naive women.
Via the porn site ‘YouTube’ he had caught the attention of Scooter Booter an ‘avaricious talent’ scout. His dirty Canadian ‘dance music’ with suggestive lyrics that included the repeated use of the word ‘Baby’ when he was obviously addressing a teenager, which many consider to be the sign of Satanism. His success was meteoric at first, managing to convince millions that he was a clean cut American boy, but of recent months his Canadian began to show. Drag racing, egging houses, and fracas outside of nightblubs might be the done thing in Toronto, but here in the US these activities our frowned upon as weird and dumbass and most damningly Canadian.
Police said that Bieber’s work ‘visa’ has been cancelled due to recent ‘criminal activity’ and Bieber was escorted to the border in the early hours of the morning. An eyewitness noted that Bieber was laughing and joking, apparently under the impression that the whole episode was a practical joke organised by his best friend Jack Black.
Justin Beiber will be released in 2015.
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