JUSTIN BIEBER AND JONAH HILL APOLOGY OFF
HOLLYWOOD – Let the ‘nothing I can say excuses what I did’ excusing commence!
In the blue corner, weighing in at 54 pounds, two inches – everyone’s favorite nice boy gone bad until Miley Cyrus cut her hair and now we’re all confused but anyway: he’s Canadian! Justin Bieber!
And in the red corner, weighing in at NO! I’m not going there, Jump Street 22 star and Wolf of Wall Street Oscar nominee, he’s not Canadian! At least, I don’t think… no he definitely isn’t. Jonah Hill!
And Justin is out first ducking and weaving throwing a few mild complaints about the pressure of celebrity. But here’s Jonah, some of his best friends are Gay! In fact he’s going to a Gay wedding tomorrow, of his best friend, who is totally cool, and that’s cool!
But Justin’s back. He was only eighteen when he made the comments: they’re hurtful, he says. He expresses remorse.
BUT MY GOD WHAT’S THIS?
Jonah’s Kimmeling him to the ground. Claiming that no one should forgive him and should use him as an example for what not to do or be when someone responds to you with hate because there’s too much hate in the world, why (for the love of Pete!) can’t we just get along, black and white, gay and straight, Hos and Bitches?
Oh no. No, I think he got away with that.
Bieber is trying to claim his joke was more about racism than racist itself but it’s no good, Hill is running circles around him, he’s on Howard Stern, he’s gone viral. His voice is cracking.
It’s CRACKING! It’s all over.
Bieber’s deported and Hill is King of the Sorrys!