julia roberts

BEIJING – Following George Lucas’ sale of the Star Wars franchise to Disney, Julia Roberts announced today that the Chinese government have successfully acquired her smile for the cool sum of $6 billion.

The representative for the Chinese Government speaking in Beijing today said that the People’s Democratic Republic of China were delighted at having acquired such a valuable asset. Ms. Roberts was forced to sell her smile when her heavy investments in a new TV show called Pigs Fighting led to heavy losses which, coupled with an addiction to Role Playing Games, saw the Pretty Woman at her wits’ end.
Although some sources have suggested that the Chinese want to use the smile for military purposes, as a kind of missile shield for instance, the Chinese insist that it is going to be used for public good “Just, you know, to make everyone feel better about themselves.”
Ms. Roberts was unavailable for comment.

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