john mccain

WASHINGTON – The sale of Apache holy land brokered by Senator John McCain was justified today by the Republican senator using a cinematic excuse.

The land will be sold to a British/Australian mining conglomerate and was made possible due to a waver of rights appended to the fine print of a military spending bill.  Sen. John McCain told the Studio Exec EXCLUSIVELY that he had a very good reason for what others are calling one of the lowest acts in recent political history, effectively robbing from the Native Americans once again at the behest of a foreign commercial venture.

I know you know my Exec. And if you know one thing about John McCain it’s that he’s a huge Stanley Kubrick fan. And of all the Stanley Kubrick films I love the most, The Shining has to be up there. Perhaps Doctor Strangelove, but that’s a documentary so it doesn’t count.

I fail to see the relevance.

Well, The Shining is so good because it is so true. There are horrors out there and they exist because of what we do and have done to the Native Americans, who we wiped out via gunpowder, alcohol and germs. Now they’re making another Shining film, but it’s been a while since we’ve done the dirty on our old foe, so I figured if we misappropriated some land of theirs, holy land too, that might get the spirits riled and somehow the Overlook Hotel would be once more spookified.

That has to be one of the most nutso things I’ve ever heard.

I know. You see that’s why I had Sarah Palin as a running mate. Her standing beside me, nobody noticed what a fruitcake I was!

The Shining 2 will be released in 2016.

(Visited 179 times, 1 visits today)

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published.

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.