WASHINGTON – Hollywood reeled today with the news that John Cusack and Rush Limbaugh are in fact the same person.
The actor famed for his liberal views and twitching irritating performances has apparently been ‘Rushing’ from film sets to radio studio changing into his fat suit and grey wig in the limo, before spouting off at the mouth about a load of bigoted guff.
First rumours were spread after Leonardo diCaprio in a GQ interview with Clint Eastwood revealed that the fat suit and make up used in J. Edgar to reproduce the famed FBI boss were actually borrowed from Cusack. ‘Why did John Cusack have a fat suit?’ the confused ‘journalist’ asked. But Eastwood cut the interview short and soon after faked an argument with the coffee table in order to bring the embarrassing conversation to a close.
Speaking today exclusively to Studio Exec, Mr. Cusack said:
I’m relieved ultimately. For years I’ve been leading a double life. On the one hand making forgettable films and the on the other spewing my hateful bile into the airwaves. Sometimes the lives would collide as for instance when I made Con Air.
Cusack plans to make a film of the experience which ‘will make Tootsie look like Mrs Doubtfire.’