HOLLYWOOD – It was an ordinary press junket for their new film Avengers: Age of Ultron, but for Jeremy Renner and Chris Evans it was about to become real.
Then the interviewer asked Captain America (Chris Evans) and Hawkeye (Jeremy Renner) what they thought of Black Widow (Scarlett Johansson) and the fact her character fell in love with another character (SPOILER) who was not their characters in a fictional universe. What happened next will blow your mind. Read the full interview transcript below:
Jeremy Renner: Well, obviously, I think it sucks. I mean I thought we – that is to say our fictional characters were close but it’s typical, isn’t it?
Chris Evans: Yes. I was hoping that we might get together. After all there aren’t many women in the Marvel universe and so for the rest of the time it’s one big sausage fest.
JR: In a way you could see that as part of the problem. Goddamned Bechdel test. If we didn’t have to have a woman in it, we could just all be men and there wouldn’t be this kind of conversation tearing us apart.
CE: I agree with Jeremy on this. Women just cause heartbreak and although I respect Scarlett as a fellow performer and a human being, I’d have to say that in general all women are horrible, conniving, duplicitous, actively evil people and the world would be a much better places if it was just men having men babies through their men holes.
Interviewer: (LAUGHING) Men holes?
JR: Hey Chris is serious, man. We talked about this on set and we all agree. If women could just like all go away. JOss did a great job of getting rid of Natalie Portman and Gwyneth Paltrow and I know there was a version of the script where Black Widow was on the wrong end of a HULK SMASH, but I don’t know what happened, it’s political correctness gone mad again I guess.
CE: Just think about it. All us men, with no women soiling the place with their menstrual cycles and boy band crushes. We could leave the toilet seat up.
JR: We could leave the toilet door open.
CE: We wouldn’t have to wear pants. We could just walk around with no pants on our junk swinging free. It’d be great.
Interviewer: You’re joking.
CE: NO! We are deadly serious. Women must be stopped.
JR: I wrote a letter.
CE: I love the way your mind works man.
JR: Thanks guy. I love you too.
Avengers Age of Ultron is in cinemas currently.