JENNIFER ANISTON KNOWLEDGE AT AN ALL TIME LOW
NEW YORK – The annual Jennifer Aniston survey conducted by the National Board of Education has revealed a shocking drop in knowledge about the actress who once was as famous as cappuccino.
24% of respondents were unable to identify her from a photograph and an astounding 17% didn’t even recognize her name.
More alarming news came with the more detailed questions. Although 83% agreed with the statement: ‘she was famous for dating someone’, 63% could not identify her former boyfriend and 31% misidentified him as Colin Farrell.
Morock Bringley – of the National Institute of Aniston Studies – said that ‘the results were upsetting but not surprising given the state of Aniston education.’
The problem is it differs wildly from state to state, with some states holding mandatory Aniston testing already in the third grade and others not having any formal Aniston course on the syllabus. Jesus Christ, some kids don’t even know what Friends was!
Proposals to counteract the drop in Aniston knowledge include the state-wide banning of Horrible Bosses, a more intensive programme of Friends re-runs and a basic course of Aniston studies to be obligatory in all high schools. Some critics however have countered that this is a natural result of the passage of time and we should all just ‘let it go’.
Feel free to comment below and contribute to the raging Aniston debate.