HOLLYWOOD – David Simon’s epic TV drama ‘The Wire’ is to be made into a 90 minute feature film by ‘The Five year Engagement‘ director Nicholas Stoller, based on a script by his regular collaborator Jason Segel.

We caught up with Segel to quiz him about his latest project.

Jason. Some would suggest that condensing a 60 hour show into 90 minutes is a foolhardy and impossible task. How do you respond to such criticism?

Look I understand the misgivings. The Wire is probably the greatest drama in television history. I freely admit I was nervous about tackling the material but I’m confident audiences will respond positively.

I assume you will be focusing on the events of season one.

I never really wrote it with any particular season in mind. Basically my version is based around Jimmy McNulty and some of the other characters will make brief appearances.

I see. Was it easy to get the original cast back together?

Oh none of them will be returning. That was never the intention. Don’t get me wrong I admire the work of those people but I wanted to take things in a different direction.

So who is playing McNulty?

Kermit the Frog

Get the f*ck out of here!

I know right. I’m so excited!

I wasn’t endorsing your decision Segel. It’s a terrible idea. Maybe the worst in cinema history.

Ah come on man it will be great. Wait until you see Animal as Stringer Bell and Fozzy as Carcetti. You’ll love it I guarantee.

I don’t know what to say. You’re obviously criminally insane.

I understand your reservations I really do but you know, I wrote The Five Year Engagement and surely that proves I have the chops.

I’m sorry to break this to you Jason but The Five Year Engagement script was one of the worst in living memory.

Fine, that wasn’t your bag but you can’t deny The Muppet movie was great.

I’d happily deny it in a court of law in front of a judge. It was abysmal. In fact I’d go as far as to say that your recent output suggests that you wouldn’t recognise comedy in a police line up. You consistently fail at the basic fundamentals of script writing and yet you managed to convince some maniac to give you a 100 million to remake The Wire, with Muppets. I mean who the hell is playing Omar Little. Gonzo the Great? 

He is!..Man I’m so excited I can barely stand it.

You’re a strange and deluded man Mr. Segel and I wish you nothing but bad luck and eternal misery.

Thanks amigo. Wow that was a great interview. Do you want to go grab a beer and talk some more. I think we really bonded.

F*ck off.

Ok cool. Another time then I’ll call you.

The Wire: The Movie is due for release in 2016.
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  1. ‘Anonymous’ the cruel omnipresent master of the put down strikes again!…who is this blank faced apparition? Can anyone withstand the flaming heart daggers of pure mach 10 banter that he wields with such virile force?

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