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Saturday 19 October 2019
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JAMIE FOXX’S NATIONAL ANTHEM PERFORMANCE ‘CAN CAUSE BRAIN DAMAGE’

JAMIE FOXX’S NATIONAL ANTHEM PERFORMANCE ‘CAN CAUSE BRAIN DAMAGE’

NEVADA – The American Medical Association today released a strongly worded press release condemning the practice of Jamie Foxx singing the national anthem before major boxing matches, citing a ‘real danger that it could cause neurological damage’.

Referring to the rendition of the National Anthem given by Django Unchained actor Jamie Foxx, the AMA spokesperson told the Studio Exec EXCLUSIVELY:

We have two men here – Floyd Mayweather and Manny Pacquiao – who are about to start pounding each other’s faces in with their fists. The brain is already going to be traumatized as it sloshes around those bone hard skulls. But to then add to that a weird soulful Star Spangled Banner…? It just needs to be flat out Star Spangled banned. It is cruel and unusual and I fear for the brain health not only of the fighters but also the audience.

Jake Gyllenhaal was rushed to hospital after the fight, when he collapsed after complaining of dizziness and an inability to stop laughing. Who actually won the fight is still a mystery, the answer to which is probably beyond the scope and capacity of human understanding.

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