HOLLYWOOD – In a move that has shocked the criminal justice system, James Woods has decided to sue himself for defamation of character.
“I’m sick of this f*cking guy.”, said an angry Woods.
He goes on the internet, spouts a lot of right-wing nonsense and everybody thinks he’s an asshole. I can’t get a decent role because everybody is saying I’m difficult to work with. This chump is ruining my f*cking career. Not only that but he’s stalking me! Every time I go to the bathroom and look in the mirror, there he is. I called the police a couple of times but they said I should just drink a glass of water and sleep it off. I blame Barack Obama, since he got in this country has gone to hell.
So far Woods has received little support from the Hollywood community but Katherine Heigl has spoken out in his defence:
I feel for James. Last year I was going to sue myself but my lawyers advised against it. This other Katherine Heigl had gained such a bad reputation that I was having to make excuses for her. I’d turn up on set and nobody would talk to me and I found out later that this bitch has a superiority complex and had been really rude to the crew. People just don’t understand the damage it can do and if James’ case is successful, I’m going to follow his lead.
We at The Studio Exec think more actors might be suffering the same fate and if so, we’re here to help.
Please send a cheque or postal order for $50 to:
The Studio Exec
We will then provide you with a copy of our new self-help book, ‘101 Ways to Stop Taking Yourself So F*cking Seriously.’