HOLLYWOOD – James Woods announces right wing production company to make films about good American cops.
James Woods today announced the formation of the Axis Of Actors to continue to make films about good cops, despite footage on social media of police gassing, beating and murdering innocent people.
Good Apple Productions, formed by a collective of right wing actors including James Woods, Kelsey Grammer, Scott Baio and Melissa Joan Hart. In a press conference earlier today, Woods announced:
‘It’s about time we redressed the balance of all these bleeding heart liberal actors, spouting their liberal bullshit and standing up for minorities, whoever they are. We have formed a corporation of actors. Because we don’t like the term union, that’s for scumbag commies. Therefore our axis believes in back to basics, fundamental old testament values. Because I equally like the new testament also, but I don’t want to get into specifics about that. SHUT UP OK!’
The microphone was taken away from James Woods and he was wheeled out of the room. Melissa Joan Hart raised her hand to speak, but the whole room laughed and let a man do the talking.
‘I believe I speak for all of us in the axis,’ said Scott Baio, ‘when I say uuum…’ He fumbled through his notes, ‘We believe we know what the good, god fearing people of America want to see. They’re not interested in your so called science or facts, whatever those things are. America wants to see good cops chasing down criminals whether they’re ANTIFA terrorists, evil protestors or those wicked liberal old people who keeping “falling” in front of them for god damned reason. I mean, shit! What’s the world coming to? SHUT UP OK!’
The microphone was taken away from Scott Baio and he was wheeled out of the room. Melissa Joan Hart again raised her hand to speak, but the whole room laughed and let a man do the talking.
‘People love guns.’ said Kelsey Grammer, ‘I know I do. So that’s what we’re going to give them. Cops, speeding around in cop cars, jumping out of them, sliding over the hood and shooting at people. It’ll be great. Who cares why the cops are shooting people? We’ll figure that shit out later. They’ll get back in their cop cars and drive around with the siren on, woowoo woowoo woowoo woowoo woowoo…’
The microphone was taken away from Kelsey Grammer and he was wheeled out of the room. Melissa Joan Hart jumped to her feet and grabbed the microphone.
‘Fuck you all, I’m the Zodiac killer! Look at me ma! Baba booey, baba booey.’
Women huh? Am I right? Am I right?