james franco

HOLLYWOOD –  How can James Franco be an actor, a novelist, a poet, a model, a screenwriter and a director while also making such wonderful perfume adverts?

It has been a mystery that has plagued Hollywood for years. Well, the answer was revealed today EXCLUSIVELY to the Studio Exec.

Franco beckoned us in close and whispered conspiratorially:

I have a third arm.


A third arm. Right here. See just under my left arm pit and going round toward my back. You want to see?

Jesus Christ. You’re like a Hindu deity!

Ha ha! You ain’t the first person to tell me that.

So this is how you do it.

Yeah. The little sucker is useful. I can be typing away on my novel with my normal hands and my extra arm will be composing a poem or taking a selfie from a real weird angle! Even when I’m directing a film, those little fingers can be scribbling something on a notepad under my shirt or simply scratching places most people can never scratch.

That’s why you always have that really smug expression on your face.

You got it.

Can we take a picture?

F*ck no. I won’t be getting a Hugo Boss contract if I’m a three armed freak, now will I?

I suppose not. But no one will believe us.

Hard shit. Ha ha ha.

And then James showed us three middle fingers before he ran off laughing his head off.

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