LONDON – In what’s set to be the greatest 30 minutes in television history. All the actors who have played James Bond are set to battle each other in the ring in aid of Comic Relief.

Connery, Lazenby, Moore, Dalton, Brosnan and Craig will all take part in the no holds barred contest with the winner taking the coveted ‘King of The Bonds’ belt and raising a chunk of change for lepers and orphans in the process.

Hulk Hogan has signed on to guest referee the bout and he admits he is salivating at the prospect of marshalling the squared circle.

Let me tell you brother. The immortal Hulk Hogan has been in the ring with the greats. Andre the Giant, The Ultimate Warrior, Jake the Snake Roberts; but when I see Sean Conney jumping off the top turnbuckle to elbow drop Roger Moore. I know It’s going to be the best day of the Hulksters life”

The Bond’s are being trained by former wrestler and Ex governor of Minnesota Jesse ‘The Body’ Ventura who admits he is impressed by how committed they have been to the task.

Lazenby is an animal he’s been lifting weights 26 hours a day and he’s always the first man on the training mats and the last man to leave. I wasn’t sure about Brosnan he was body slammed by Dalton, there was blood coming out of his nose and he came over to me to complain. I said “Hey, Remington Steele. You ain’t got time to bleed!”. Since then he’s knuckled down but the smart money is on Moore. You can’t hit what you can’t catch and Roger is as slippery as an eel that just fell into a bath of olive oil.”

Unfortunately latest reports have suggested that some contestants might be taking the match too seriously after Craig took to Twitter this morning claiming Connery is using performance enhancing drugs.

The shit I saw him inject would kill ten Lance Armstrong’s” said an obviously angry Craig.

The bout will take place on March 31st at Madison Square Gardens. Ticket’s are on sale now.
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