Thursday 9 April 2020
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PALMYRA – ISIS (also known as the Islamic State of Iraq and al-Sham) have given the Adam Sandler comedy Pixels a five star review in what is being viewed as another attack on culture.

The ISIS “Pixels” review was posted on Rotten Tomatoes, as well as on various Jihadi websites across the internet. It reads:

Adam Sandler returns to form with another hilarious comedy with all the thrills and spills of an arcade classic! Sandler is joined by Kevin James and Peter Dinklage (from the awful Game of Thrones) as a team of video gamers who are called to save the world when aliens invade in the form of classic arcade game monsters from the games of their youth. As Pac-Man and Donkey Kong rip up the city, our intrepid team must learn to fight together as they exchange rib tickling quips. It is fun all the way. And has some deep things to say about how women are awful.

Harry Potter director Christopher Columbus does an able job of mixing the comedy with the action and the score by

The UN believe that this is a second stage of the well-publicized attack on cultural artifacts.

A spokesperson told the Studio Exec:

Whether blowing up ancient Buddhist shrines, or trash sculptures and buildings in the Middle East, ISIS have shown themselves to be absolute enemies of culture and art. We believe that the Pixels review is the second prong of that same attack. If ISIS can raise the percentage on Rotten Tomatoes it will get more people to watch Adam Sandler films and who knows what else. The Fantastic Four maybe. That will obviously have a personal cost on the people who are duped into watching those films, but it also might turn some susceptible youth into a terrorist who hates the kind of society that can produce Grown Ups 2.


The CIA and MI5 have both said that they will be monitoring film sites from now on and any suspicious activity should be reported immediately to the appropriate authorities.

Pixels is on current release.

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