hawk the slayer

HOLLYWOOD – International Hawk The Slayer Day saw millions joined in celebration of the John Terry starring 1983 fantasy film across the globe.

However, the event was marred by ugly scenes when thousands of Red Sonja supporters staged violent protests which in some cases descended into ugly bouts of ‘pushing’ and ‘shoving’.

In New York, where police estimated five thousand people had gathered in Central Park, sixteen people had to be hospitalized with what one doctor called ‘admittedly minor injuries’. One Slayer – bleeding from a twisted lip – told Studio Exec:

It was horrible. We were re-enacting one of the best fights from the film, where the guy fires the arrows really quickly, when suddenly all these Brigitte Nielssen lookalikes descended on us. It was carnage.

The Red Sonja Movement is a radical feminist branch of the Fantasy Fan World, fighting everywhere for increased female visibility in fantasy films and TV shows. Spokesperson Xena McGillis speaking from Glasgow said:

We are sick and tired of fantasy being the preserve of repressive male fantasy and we will continue to disrupt such events as International Hawk the Slayer Day and The Gathering and the Krull Jamboree until Game of Thrones shows more cock and less tits and ass.

In honor of International Hawk the Slayer Day, Hawk the Slayer will be playing in a theater near you. 

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