INDIANA JONES CRITICIZED FOR FAILING TO KILL HITLER
BERKLEY – Indiana Jones has come under intense criticism following a biography of the famous archeologist revealed how in the late 1930s Dr. Jones failed to kill the Nazi leader Adolf Hitler.
Esteemed archaeologist and adventurer Indiana Jones has come under sustained attack today following the publication of extracts from a new biography that claims the noted academician met with Adolf Hitler and failed to take any action whatsoever. “Indiana Jones, I Presume” by Dr. Fathma Nichols is due for publication early in the new year but leaks from the book have already provided historians and the world of adventure archeology that Dr. Jones pioneered with some choice titbits of previously unknown information.
Included in the revelations are the fact that Indiana Jones met the leader of the Nazi Party and then Chancellor of Germany Adolf Hitler and not only failed to take any appropriate action, but also asked for the National Socialist’s autograph.
Dr. Nichols writes:
Although the meeting was inopportune – Dr. Jones was accompanied by his elderly father Dr. Henry Jones and there was a massive crowd of devoted Nazis around them – it can only be regretted that Jones did not leap into action and by doing forestall the Second World War and the Holocaust.
However, Indiana Jones supporters made it clear that the biographer’s charges were unfair:
You have to remember that at this point America was not at war with Germany and that on several occasions Dr. Jones had explicitly said ‘Nazis! I hate these guys’. During the Second World War, Jones was to work for the OSS and was never backward in a punch up with a Nazi, especially if there was scope for some propeller blade action.
However, the Nazi revelation, although the most serious, is not the only one.
Dr. Jones persistently used unorthodox methods to remove objects from their original locations, and did not do proper surveys of the sites nor did he write complete reports. Although a successful obtainer of rare objects, the destruction that often accompanied his finds meant that proper study was frequently impossible.
Dr. Jones had a girlish fear of snakes.
During the testing of a nuclear weapon in Nevada, Jones hid in an icebox for reasons that are still unclear.
Although hired as a teacher, Dr. Jones record as an educator left a lot to be desired. He would frequently fail to correct course work in a timely fashion and his courses were often abruptly halted as he took an unexplained ‘sabbatical’. In this he was facilitated by his friend and mentor Marcus Brody.
Jones was suspected of being a racist, telling stories of Indian death cults and referring to meals which involved ‘chilled monkey brains’.
Hollywood actor Shia LaBeouf is thought to be his son, but exactly how the dates work has never been fully explained.