INDEPENDENCE DAY DAY
HOLLYWOOD – Today is the annual celebration of the fourth of July, or Independence Day Day, as it has been known since the defeat of the alien invasion some years ago.
Under the presidency of Bill Pullman the Earth was subject to an unprecedented attack by extraterrestrial forces which were then defeated by a combination of Brundle Fly, the Fresh Prince of Bell Air and Dennis Quaid’s demented brother. All over the country, parties are being organized to celebrate the coming together of disparate parts of our nation in order to defeat the common foe. The White House has been rebuilt and New York repaired, but the psychological scars of that day remain fresh.
One witness spoke exclusively to the Studio Exec under strict request for anonymity:
We fled in thousands. In millions. There were many who left everything behind. Who lost everything. And worse than that, worse even than the grief for those who had died was the utter hopelessness. We had thrown everything we had at the aliens and they seemed impervious. Our navy, our army and our air force aside from some mavericks had all had their butts handed to them. We had stared up at the aliens hoping that they would relent, that some mercy would be forthcoming, but instead they rained down death on us. If it hadn’t been for President Bill Pullman and Dennis Quaid’s dingbat brother, the Earth would have been placed under the dominion of a foreign army, or more likely the Human race would simply have been exterminated.
Independence Day Day will be celebrated by the Studio Exec with a head hung in sorrow as well as joy.