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The Internet Movie Database otherwise known as IMDB has announced it’s first theme park will open in Orlando, Florida in summer 2018.
The Studio Exec sat down with the owner Col Needham to ask him about the exciting project.
Col. Why a theme park?
It’s something I’ve been developing for over 10 years. I went to Disneyland Paris and it was so disappointing I thought, we can do better than this.
What didn’t you like about Disneyland?
It was just old hat. Boring rides, overpriced hot dogs and those creepy characters in costumes wandering around. I mean, who really gives a shit about Goofy and Pluto? Most kids these days wouldn’t recognize them in a police line-up!
So what is IMDB’s take on the theme park experience?
Well for one we have an enormous pool of movies to draw from. We also want to give the ticket buyer an experience they never had before so many of our rides are incredibly dangerous.
Yeah. In fact there is like a 70% chanced you will be killed or maimed which is why you have to sign a waiver before you enter.
Interesting. Can you reveal some of the attractions?
Sure. We have TheShawshank Redemptionwhich is an underground log flume through a river of raw sewage. The idea behind Inception isyou’re plugged into the mainframe and you have to kill the other participants in their dreams. Dr Strangelove is a good one that involves you riding an atomic bomb dropped from a plane and there’s also The Schindler’s List Experiencebut we are having some legal issues with that one.
Wow. What does that involve?
You really don’t want to know. The original concept broke several protocols of the Geneva convention
Sounds great. What would you say is your personal favorite?
I like The Apocalypse Nowride. It was designed by John Milius and it’s a kind of Ghost Train on water. We were a bit heavy handed with the napalm last week and several members of our crew were burnt beyond recognition but it all worked out. We had their dental records.
Well I must say Col I’m looking forward to it. Thanks for the interview.
No problem. It was my pleasure
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