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Tuesday 20 October 2020
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IF YOU PLAY TENET BACKWARDS IT MAKES SENSE

IF YOU PLAY TENET BACKWARDS IT MAKES SENSE

HOLLYWOOD – Playing Tenet backwards causes logic to work.

Professor Archi Newton today revealed that playing Tenet backwards makes more sense than the conventional way of screening the film. Newton who teaches ‘The Phenomenology of Happy Days at UCLA told the Studio Exec about the origin  of his discovery.

I remember in the 60s and 70s people frequently played their albums to find messages. It started with the Beatles and then kids did it with Pink Floyd and all these Heavy Metal groups. It was wack. So when I saw Tenet with my sexual partner Cloris, I thought hell, why not. We filmed the film illegally on our phones and then I used some software to reverse the film. All of a sudden everything makes sense. For one thing you can actually hear what the characters are saying.

No shit?

Absolute shit.

Go on.

So the story obviously starts with the Horcrux being hidden and Kenneth Branagh leaping back to life. Then there’s a lot of stuff about trying to get a briefcase to go somewhere. And they put together a van and restore the briefcase there. Then John David Washington and Robert Pattinson take a team apart and then split up themselves. I’d tell you more but I don’t want to spoil the beginning.

Do you think this is the way Christopher Nolan intended for it to be seen?

I don’t give a fuck. The author is dead asshole. And the academic strides the world like a king or queen.

Tenet is in theaters.

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