HOLLYWOOD – Reports are coming in from the set of Transformers 4 that an idiot tried to attack Michael Bay, throwing an air conditioning unit at the Pain and Gain director’s head and missed.
The attacker – who it has been reported was on narcotics – approached Mr. Bay in slow motion to a pumping Hans Zimmer score and then threw the large metal object towards his victim from several different angles, while a script supervisor stretched her hand towards the action and shouted a silent ‘NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!’
An eyewitness remarked:
It was terrible, really. I mean the dude totally missed. A completely lame ass throw.
A spokesman for the police department said that legally there was nothing they could do to prevent the continued filming of Transformers 4, but they would keep a very close eye on the situation ready to shut it down on the slightest excuse. Asked about the man they had taken into custody, the police chief remarked:
Oh yeah. He’s around here somewhere.
Transformers 4 will be released in 2014.