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Thursday 9 April 2020
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IAN MCKELLEN’S JOHN HOLMES BIOPIC BRANDED ‘INACCURATE’

IAN MCKELLEN’S JOHN HOLMES BIOPIC BRANDED ‘INACCURATE’

HOLLYWOOD – Ian McKellen’s long awaited John Holmes biopic is proving a disappointment according to early reports.

Mr. Holmes tells the story of legendary porn star John Holmes, played by Gandalf actor Ian McKellen, but many fans of the well hung ┬áporn star (also known as Johnny Wadd) are complaining that the film takes too many liberties with the known facts of Holmes’ life.

Resident porn expert, Fannis Onanis made his moral outrage abundantly to the Studio Exec EXCLUSIVELY:

To begin with Ian McKellen – great actor though he undoubtedly is – is simply too old for the role. John Holmes died when he was forty four, so the idea that we see Holmes reminiscing as an old man … it just doesn’t make sense. And then there’s the period. Johnny Wadd is a symbol of the seventies and American. But here we have him in a frock coat in what looks like turn of the century England.

But isn’t the film actually based on…

And then there’s the sex, or the absolute lack thereof. I mean John Holmes was just dick, dick, dick, dick, dick. Morning, noon and night. And yet here there’s just a lot of plodding about, detecting. It’s almost as if the filmmakers wanted to make a film about an entirely different person altogether.

Mr. Holmes is on current release.

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