Kevin Smith

HOLLYWOOD – Kevin Smith – the Uber-Geek of comic books – has described the moment he saw the new costume Ben Affleck will be wearing as Batman: ‘It’s like nothing I’ve ever seen. It was like looking at God’s tits!’

Kevin was still breathing heavily as he described the moment the costume was unveiled on his podcast: 

It was cold in the DC bat cave and damp but I was sweating profusely all the same. Zack said something like ‘are you ready?’ I made a slightly gurgling noise in my throat and luckily he realized I was saying yes. He pulled the curtain aside and there it stood big dark upright … I swear to God it was throbbing. ‘Do you wanna see Ben put it on?’ Zack said, and it was then that I’m proud to say I climaxed! 

Although there are conflicting versions, including one in which Mr. Smith only saw a photograph which he later tried to steal, what is clear is that thus far Zach Snyder has the Kevin Smith stamp of approval.

The man is a creative genius. Only a genius could take a man who can fly, can cut through things with his eyes and who fights General Zod, destroying cities in the process, the way he did in Man of Steel, and make it oddly dull. That takes a master’s touch. 

Superman and Batman is due out in 2015. 

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