HELEN MIRREN’S HOUSE OF HORRORS
It was a grisly scene [said a grizzled Robicheaux]. The victims were all in their early 20s and every one of them had been drained of blood, to the very last drop. She’d stored them all in her walk-in chest freezer and judging by the ‘best before’ date stickers on the bodies, she’s been killing for at least a decade.
Look, every time somebody dies in New Orleans people think it’s a vampire. Couple that with Twilight being at cinemas and you’ve got a cold case of mass hysteria but the sad fact is: this is simply the work of a disturbed and extremely vain human being. We found a bath full of blood and Mirren’s DNA was all over it. She’s basically been doing a Liz Bathory and bathing in the red stuff to try and keep herself looking young. By the looks of her, she might have been onto something. I mean come on, she’s like a hundred years old and I don’t know a hot bloodied man alive who wouldn’t tap that ass.