NEW YORK – A whole series of American TV channels have been accused of kidnapping British drama school students when they are only children and transporting them to the States, where they are kept in cages and forced to adopt semi-convincing American accents, before appearing in gritty drama series.

Hugh Laurie was taken when he was only fourteen years old.

Many are too scared to speak out. And plus once the shows begin and the money starts to become quite good then they get used to the swimming pools and they don’t look back. It’s really the swimming pools that get you in the end. 

Idris Elba

Idris Elba and Dominic West were taken from the same school by David Simon and trained for three years before being released onto The Wire:

Neither one of us had ever been to Baltimore, nor for that matter the US. And there we were in the middle of a gripping and honest expose of the American drug war. Only two years earlier we had been playing cricket on the old village green, while our old mother (God Bless her) slapped the chickens.     

Damien Lewis was the latest to be kidnapped and brainwashed in scenes ironically reminiscent of the whiplash plot of his hit TV series Homeland. He joined Andrew Lincoln from the AMC show The Walking Dead in an attempted escape, but it was foiled when they realised the guns they were carrying only fired blanks and they were lured back to their respective shows with strategically placed buckets of money.

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