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Sunday 25 August 2019
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HARRISON FORD’S EARRING WRITES TELL ALL MEMOIR

HARRISON FORD’S EARRING WRITES TELL ALL MEMOIR

HOLLYWOOD – Han Solo and Indiana Jones star Harrison Ford is facing potential scandal as it was revealed that his earring is writing a scandal crammed memoir about his life with the star.

Harrison Ford’s earring has written a memoir of his life with the star and the Studio Exec has got EXCLUSIVE permission to publish the extracts here.

From Chapter One.

It was an ordinary day in Claire’s Accessories on Lexington Avenue. I’d been poked by a couple of Japanese tourists and discarded by a teenager who – by the ordure from his digits – had just been eating a taco. The other rings and I were gossiping about Tavora, the assistant, when who should walk in but Han Solo and his wife Melissa Mathison. Tavora reads gossip magazines out loud so we recognized the hunk from Force Ten from Navarone immediately. ‘Are you sure about this?’ Melissa asked. ‘Sure,’ Harrison said and without even looking he pointed to me and said ‘That one.’ The piercing was over in a jiffy and Harrison didn’t cry or yelp even. He actually sounded disappointed when he said it didn’t hurt.

From Chapter Six.

The divorce was difficult for all of us. I liked Clarissa, I really did and I do. But you have to understand the position I was in. I mean Harrison never took me out. I heard all the sweet nothings, the moans, the passion and late at night in the bathroom the weeping, the pain and regrets. It was a hard time for all of us. And it was our about then that the fungus infection started. Was it related to stress? I’m no doctor. I’m an item of jewelry, to paraphrase DeForest Kelley.

From Chapter Nine.

Daniel Craig was there and Jon Favreau. The’d been talking for over an hour and I got the feeling Harrison was uncertain to say the least. As was customary, he called time and went to take a leak. In the bathroom, he rubbed me gently. ‘Well, what do you say old Pal?’ he asked. ‘Shall we do it?’ I had been a lucky charm for him and now Harrison was asking me career advice. I told him straight. ‘The title stinks, the plot is uncertain and the characters aren’t well defined,’ I told him. He was angry. I could tell he wanted to do it. He reached up and began to take me out. ‘Noooooooooooooo,’ I shouted, but no one could hear my tiny golden voice.

From Chapter Eleven.

Of course there was no way of knowing how Jimmy Fallon would react and Harrison was a little nervous of doing the whole bit. Live TV is a different ball game but I whispered in his ear: ‘Make sure it hurts!’ And I heard an appreciative chuckle from the pilot of the Millennium Falcon.

Lobe Runner: Tales from Harrison Ford’s Left Ear by G. Ring (as told to Chad Sternberger) is available from all good bookstores.

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